Why Modern Families Struggle
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Having a family in this modern day and age is a remarkably tough experience. So often we find ourselves overwhelmed, stressed, fighting with our kids, fighting with our partner and not experiencing the love and joy that family life can be.
In all too many situations, the relationship ends in a divorce before the kid’s even a few years old. And for those of us that do make it through, the love often withers in the face of the difficulty as we are left co-parenting and not experiencing the love that we need in order to face the inherent difficulties of being a parent.
It doesn’t have to be like this. It really is possible for you to have a family where your relationship thrives, where the kids see you loving each other and where together you are able to provide what the children need in terms of discipline, boundaries and love in a unified and powerful way.
Fortunately the root cause behind this predicament is quite simple, and therefore very addressable. You can really see it in the experience of the modern birth. Birth is scary, both parents are typically insecure having never taken care of a baby before. But then out comes the child and the moms usually find their way quite quickly, realizing how profoundly wonderful it is to provide for their child.
Meanwhile we often stand back in our insecurity, supporting the relationship between the mom and the baby, but not inhabiting our role as a parent. If the mom does have any difficulties, there is a fleet of people and resources to support her to bond with her child, while we end up in the corner, disempowered and slightly disengaged.
This imbalance in the relationship leaves too much burden on the woman’s shoulders, and quickly she is nagging at us to try to get some more help in the face of the overwhelming experience. This often causes us men to back away even further and before long we are hiding out in our sports, our telephones and our work in order to feel better about ourselves. The relationship starts to crumble. The kid gets used by the mom for her emotional needs because we are not there to provide the love that she needs, and the whole situation gets fairly ugly.
Thus the root cause of all this suffering is our disempowerment as fathers.
Full Frontal Fatherhood is an effort to give:
1. Dads all the information and tools that you need to be an engaged and empowered father throughout your child’s life.
2. Moms information on how to step back in the midst of their strong motherly instincts and thus give us the space to find our way.
3. Both of you the technology to create a powerful relationship, where your love thrives and thus supports each of you to wholeheartedly handle the difficulties of being a parent.
Scientific research has even shown that if we are engaged fathers everybody in our families ends up happier. If the man is equally empowered, the family balance is maintained and everyone thrives. Which leads to a slightly better world.
I really do believe that together we can change the experience of parenting and fatherhood, and that the ramifications are quite far reaching as our grandkids and great-grandkids and on and on are that much more likely to know goodness and thus share it.
Thank you for joining me.
Julian Redwood, MFT